What Kind of Drunk Would you be
by Aseret Kitsune
Summary: Kurt, Rogue, and Scott start out playing a little game, then everyone else, including the Brotherhood, came and it turned into What The Hell hour.


**A/N: **Yeah, this is sort of random. And indefinable. Meh. Hope you all enjoy. And I hope the rating is high enough.  
**Genre: **Humor/Slight Romance  
**Pairings: **Kurt/Todd, Pietro/Lance  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Summary: **Kurt, Rogue, and Scott start out playing a little game, then everyone else, including the Brotherhood, came and it turned into What-The-Hell hour.  
**Warnings: **Mentions of sex, blowjobs, alcohol, and cursing.

What-Kind-of-Drunk-Would-you-be  
(The Really Fun Game that Brings Things Out in the Open)

"I never drink," Scott said.

"Vell, you'd still be a crazy drunk," Kurt told him. Rogue smirked, arms crossed.

"Nah, Ah think he'd be more of uh violent drunk," she said.

"Ooh, zat's good."

"Well, you'd be a miserable drunk," the older teen voiced his opinion in an attempt to salvage his own dignity while destroying Kurt's.

"Vas? Vhy?" he questioned?

"He's got uh point," Rogue agreed. "Ya sorta do lament sometimes."

"Do not," the boy pouted, opening up his milk carton and taking a drink.

"Hey, guys. So, what are you talking about?" Kitty asked as she and Evan walked over to the trio. They sat down their trays and looked expectedly at the others, the boy starting to shovel food into his mouth.

"Ve're talking about vas kind of drunks ve vould be," Kurt explained. "Scott's a violent and crazy drunk."

"Like, what's Rogue then?" Kitty asked.

"A happy partier," he replied grinning. Rogue just rolled her eyes.

Evan, after swallowing his food, asked, "How about you, Kurt?"

Grinning Scott answered for him, "Depressed." Before the other teen could deny it, Jean walked over to the table and sat down next to Scott.

"Hello, everyone," she greeted pleasantly.

"Jean vould be an angry drunk," Kurt announced. The red head blinked, taken aback.

"W-what are you_talking_ about, Kurt?" she questioned.

"We're playing th' 'what-kind-of-drunk-would-you-be' game," Rogue told her. To Kurt she said, "Ya've got a good point there, fuzzy."

"Told you. I'm ze master of this game!" he declared haughtily. Jean Gray just looked appalled. She didn't get a chance to say anything, however, as Kitty spoke first.

"Like, what am I?" she asked eagerly, getting into the game.

"Yeah, and what about me?" Evan echoed just as zealously. The others, sans the red head, examined them for a moment. Then, Kurt cracked a wide smile.

"Passed out!" he exclaimed, causing him, Rogue, and Scott to burst into full blown laughter. After a minute, Evan and Kitty could help but join in.

Jean, placing a hand on the sunglass-wearing teen, said, "Scott, I really don't think this is something we should be encouraging."

"Don't worry, Jean; it's fine," he assured. Before she could voice anymore concerns, the Brotherhood boys walked over to their lunch table, matching smirks on all four faces.

"Well, if it isn't the pampered pets of Xavier Institution," Lance mocked, causing the other three to snicker maliciously.

"Alvers," Scott growled warningly. Suddenly, Kurt sprung up and pointed at Todd.

"He'd be a horny drunk, ja," he decided. Everyone looked at him incredulously.

After a minute Todd finally asked, "What're you talking about, yo?"

"Ve are playing ze 'vas-kind-of-drunk-vould-you-be' game," Kurt answered.

It took a bit for Todd to piece things together with that given information. When he figured it out he gave an exclamation of, "Hey!"

The rest of the Brotherhood and X-Men, even Jean whom still believe the game uncouth, broke into grins and Homeric laughter. Todd, arms crossed, grumbled to himself.

"Vas vould he be?" Kurt asked, once the laughter had died down, as he pointed at Lance. Faster than a heartbeat, Pietro jumped in on the game.

"He's a whiney drunk," he told them. "One time, the only way I could get him to shut up was a blowjob. Then sex."

"Why, you little…" Lance growled, glaring threateningly at the white haired teen.

"That's revenge for eating my Thingamajig," Pietro sneered, leaning closer to the brunette so their faces were only inches apart; he matched the taller boy's glare easily. The others watched, curious and stricken, as they stared each other down.

"Don't worry, yo," Todd said. "That's jus' the name of some candy bar they both like. I hope."

"Right," Rogue mumbled. "Ah'm jus' gonna call both o' them slutty drunks." No one argued.

"So, vas's the big guy like drunk?" Kurt asked, almost afraid to know.

"I'll never drunk again; I'm against alcohol," Freddy told him.

"That's wonderful, Freddy," Jean congratulated. "Could you please tell everyone here why it's _bad_?" she requested, hand swooping over the lunch table.

"'Cause I'd probably end up in nothin' but a tutu again," he explained.

There was a shocked, disgusted silence for a moment while everyone comprehended what the largest Brotherhood member had just revealed.

"Zat vas a disturbing image…" Kurt practically whimpered.

"Icksome," Kitty shuddered.

"Ah think I'm gonna hurl," Rogue groaned, hand shooting up to her mouth while the other one clutched at her stomach.

"If you think hearin' about it is disturbing, yo, you shoulda _seen_ it," Todd told them, sticking his tongue out in a disgusted manner at the memory.

"I'll pass," Even said. "I think I lost my appetite." He pushed away his lunch tray.

"Yeah, me too," Kitty agreed.

"Burn mein eyes, please," Kurt begged, asking everyone in general.

Scott was simply too flabbergasted at what he'd head to respond and Jean simply thought it best to keep silent- lest she anger Freddy or, worse, vomit herself. The seething blonde crossed his arms but didn't say anything to the varied reactions; at least no one was laughing at him.

Abruptly, Lance and Pietro-who hadn't moved-spun around swiftly and adopted similar stances: arms crossed indignantly, backs stiff and straight, and head haughtily up.

"Jerk," Pietro insulted.

"Spoiled brat," Lance countered.

"Baby," he quickly said.

"Obnoxious," the brunette retorted.

"Ah can't decide if they're actin' like little children or uh married couple," Rogue chuckled.

"A little bit of both," Kurt answered.

"This is nuthin'. You should see them at home, yo," Todd told them. "One minute they can be laughin' together, usually at my expense, and the next-bam! They're running around with really sharp or blunt objects and trying to murder each other."

"Yeah, sounds like a married couple ta me."

"So, Alvers and Maximoff…" Scott began but trailed off. The boys in question were still bickering in the background.

"Yup. They're boyfriends…ish. I think it's more like friends with benefits, yo. Or, less-than-friends with benefits," Todd explained. Jean turned to Scott.

"See what this game has led to?" she said.

"Hey, you can't tell me you saw _this_ coming," the teen defended, motioning to the still-arguing duo.

"Well, no…" she admitted, slightly meek. With more assurance she continued, "But I knew it wouldn't end pleasantly."

"Hey, the only thing that _wasn't_ fun was him in a tutu," the boy argued.

"I didn't look half bad…" Freddy mumbled to himself.

"It's almost as if we're _telling_ them to go out and drink," the redhead went on.

"I don't think I_ever_ want to drink after this," Kitty announced.

"I just don't vant him drinking," Kurt somewhat-joked, pointing at Freddy. The Brotherhood boy shot him a nasty glare to which the German was impervious to. "Todd on ze other hand…"

"Fuzzy, what are you…?" Todd began as Kurt got up and proceeded to drag him off.

"Fer some reason, that doesn't surprise me an' I don't think it oughta, either," Rogue commented with a smirk.

By now, Pietro and Lance were once again facing each other angrily. They were screaming heatedly at the top of their lungs, oblivious to their audience.

"Egotistical dick!"

"Moronic lackey!"

Suddenly, they both shared a secret look and something seemed to pass between them. A beat later, they were off towards the bleachers together. Scott, meanwhile, turned with a sheepish smile towards Jean.

"Well, I'm not going to start drinking anytime soon," he offered. Jean only put her head in her hands with a weary groan.


End file.
